Been so long since a wrote a blog post and to say we have been on a rollercoaster would be an understatement.
My last post detailed our heartbreak at a failed match, our little munchkins biological sister. It’s such a strange feeling you are kind of grieving for a child you have never met and has no connection to you but you mourn for the would be’s the could of’s. But ultimately we felt a sense of failure. Failure to provide our son with the gift of his biological sister, however as with adoption it’s completely out of our hands and in the hands of the legal system and we cannot change that.
But here we are on a new path with new dreams, hopes and aspirations. A few days after our heartbreak our social worker contacted us to see how we were, after a long chat she asked if we were ready to look at a new child profile, our social worker has known us for a few years now and was adamant that this child was perfect for us, we agreed and she emailed it too us straight away.
I opened the email with some anticipation, slight nerves and anxiety, anxious that we wouldn’t feel anything at all. It’s very hard to explain but during the matching process you see so many child profiles, photographs, videos some leap out at you, you picture them in your home, within your family, in your future. You then feel guilt and angry at yourself for not feeling the same for every child. The email simply said “very sad story support each other”.. I opened the email and there she was a chubby little lady with a big round face, no hair and the most amazing big chocolate brown eyes, but her face was sad, no smile, in fact no emotion at all.
I read her story and it’s so very sad, but I knew we could give her everything she deserved everything every child deserves a unconditional love, support, care, a home, a family and help her fulfill her every dream.
That night we both read again, we cried, we read again compiled some questions and went back to our social worker.
A few days later a meeting had been arranged to meet with her social worker.
Time seemed to go fast and slow at the same time, matching panel date, meeting birth family, play dates before introductions.
I really think that she understood who we were she has a real fear of men but during our first play date she crawled over climbed on hubby and began to play with a toy all off her own back. She was starting to build her relationship with us.
We brought her home at the beginning of December and she clung to me like her life depended on it. She wouldn’t get down, play, smile, eat but she would sleep. After what seemed to be a very long 7 days she began to join in, slowly her relationship with our little munchkin began to grow. Then came the first proper belly laugh.
Over the next few weeks she really started to trust us, finally letting herself trust her new daddy and realising that she was safe.
Really drove home to us that each child and their trauma is so different our little munchkin settled so quickly, trusted us so easily, our little lady not so much but her trauma was different.
Christmas was very quiet but very magical to see both children’s faces. Christmas dinner was a success with little lady eating everything in sight and laughing, joining in, playing and having fun.
Fast forward 4 months, we have submitted our court forms and awaiting a court date, both children are so bonded and close it’s like they are in their own little world sometimes, they giggle, get up to mischief and miss each other when apart. Oh and fight however little lady has become a force to be reckoned with so is no pushover 👊🏻
Im still trying to balance how to manage 2 children, a home and brushing my hair but hey who needs brushed hair anyway.
Oh and daddy well he now has a new addition to his fan club 😂..
xoxo
Adoptive Mama 